Randy's Travel Tips: At Home on the Road, p. 5

Culture Shock

Culture shock is real and it is disorienting. When it seems there is nothing familiar to hang on to, you loose your sense of identity. Nothing looks the same, people don't act the same, and the rules seem to be completely wrong! Just going from a comfortable life at home to the life of a traveler is a culture shock in itself, no matter where you go. If you are used to a constant group of close friends at home, being a stranger in societies where you find it difficult to have the kind of satisfying and long-lasting relationships that you are accustomed to can be very disorienting.

Check out Americans Abroad under Glimpses of the Road, back on Randy's Travel Page.

Even in places that look more familiar, like Latin America, Singapore, and even Nairobi, the culture is decidedly different, and it takes some time, and some adaptability to get accustomed to.

Language barriers greatly magnify the problem, and are a constant source of frustration. You will often feel that you are treated as a child -- if not an idiot -- because your language skills leave many people with little alternative. You don't know how to carry out the simplest of tasks in the proper way, from making a phone call to eating with chopsticks or with your fingers. You know how intelligent and interesting you are, but when you can't even express your simplest needs, let alone your feelings and displeasures, this can be extremely frustrating and humiliating.

Humility

I believe that travel can be a very humbling experience, in many ways. Some of it is positive, teaching you that your culture is not always the one with the most civilized ways of doing things. But the personal humiliations can be very disconcerting if you don't learn to accept and deal with them. You may be treated as an illiterate child, a stooge, an easy target of deceit, and occasionally of ridicule. You cannot take these things personally, and you must remember your inner sense of worth and validity. But don't bother trying to convince everyone around you. It is natural that you will occasionally be in humbling situations when you travel. You must learn to accept, and even play your role in them; it is part of the job of traveling.

You will constantly be depending on other people for directions, guidance, information, service, hospitality, and official documents. Many times you must ask two or three times when you don't understand the answers. You don't always get what you want, and you are sometimes taken advantage of. You must show respect to petty officials who may be trying to add to your humility. Your natural instincts may be to rebel, to demand your proper rights and respect. But there are many such situations which you have no power to change. If you cannot keep your pride quietly on the inside and carry out these tasks in the detached manner of a professional traveler, you will just create more and more hassles.

Getting to Know Yourself

You will learn a lot about yourself on your travels, and while it may not always be pleasant, it can be an enlightening experience. Yes, traveling can bring on initial feelings of insecurity. You will also have unavoidable periods of physical and emotional fatigue, which can bring out the worst of your emotions. Whatever there is in you that is petty, selfish, malicious, cowardly, violent, indecisive, and generally ugly has a tendency to come to the surface in times of stress and insecurity.

Because we are human, we all harbor a certain amount of these elements. In our civilized lifestyles at home, they can be suppressed and concealed to the point where we may believe we have ridded ourselves of them altogether. Out on the Road, there will be situations where you are feeling frustrated, humiliated, hungry or tired to the point where these basic emotions rear their ugly heads. ("The mask comes off!") It can be quite a learning experience! Don't be too amazed or ashamed. Learn to recognize these emotions, feel them coming on, and work to control or direct them.

When you do find yourself with a heavy wet bag full of negative emotions, or are just feeling homesick, do something about it! Sometimes you just need some rest, a good meal, or a few beers. Take a nap! Find some good company and share a meal together, swapping stories. When I find myself seething with anger, a long walk in an unintrusive environment helps to bring things back into perspective.

The best way to deal with your emotions, or those of others, is to talk about them. If you are alone, find some company and any excuse to mention how you are feeling. Just expressing your feelings helps put them at a distance. You may even get some sympathy. If you are completely alone, talk to yourself (quietly), but make it a conversation. "Why are you feeling so angry?" "Because I'm selfish, that's why!" "What are you going to do about it?" "Buy myself a chocolate bar!" "Well, go do it, and quit feeling sorry for yourself!"

In addition to your darker side, you will also see yourself becoming more independent and self-reliant, dealing with all the new situations that come your way. Even when you are feeling a bit insecure, you can look back on all the many new places and adventures you have carried yourself through, perhaps things you would have never dreamed of doing a few years or even months ago. You are a traveler now, and you have already done many things that will positively amaze your friends back home!

Depression

You've tried your best to handle hassles, harassments, frustrations, culture shock, homesickness, identity crises, ego deflation, loneliness, and diarrhea. But it's finally gotten you down, and you just feel like going home. Don't give up too easily; make an effort to ride it out. It's time for a change!

First of all, realize that these feelings are not at all uncommon, and can usually be chased away, if they don't disappear on their own. Although other travelers may seem to all have their lives in great order, they have many of the same problems you do. In fact, getting together with other travelers is a good first step. Loneliness is a common cause of low feelings, so make the effort to meet some new people. Socialize more, and when you get around to mentioning your frustrations, you should find plenty of friendly commiseration. Other travelers can also encourage you with tales of their own adventures, in places you have yet to go. If you don't find a traveler to share your feelings with, then write about them to someone at home; putting them down on paper can help to get them out of your system.

Get some good exercise for a change, even if it is just a long brisk walk in the country; genuine physical tiredness can sometimes supplant feelings of depression, and help to clear your thoughts. If you haven't already tried splurging, now is the time to do it, moderately. Depending on your habits, it may just be a better room with a private hot shower, a good meal in a nice restaurant, or a few cold beers. Some people swear by a jar of peanut butter, or some imported chocolate -- if you haven't already cultivated these tastes. A movie isn't a splurge, but it is a cheap mode of escape that can get you thinking along new lines. Even a new shirt, pair of shoes, or a hair styling can lift your spirits.

Find something new and interesting to think about, instead of focusing on your own feelings. Get interested in studying some of the local language or culture; there are plenty of amazing things out there that shouldn't be missed. Think about all the exciting things you've been doing, and look at your life from the perspective of your friends back home. They are envious of you, and for good reasons. No, it hasn't always been fun, but would you trade the experience for couple of weeks on the ski slopes? When it is really time to go home, you will go; but don't let a few days or even weeks of low spirits drive you home without giving yourself a chance to break out of it.

Make a few changes in your itinerary. Maybe it's time to head to the beach or the mountains for a change. Slow down in the countryside, or feel the excitement of the city. Maybe you just need an easier country for a while. You can travel in any style and at any pace you choose. Spending a little more to enjoy your travels is preferable to buying a ticket home; at least give it a try.

Appreciation

One purpose of making an extended trip is to have the time to really relax, and feel comfortable in your day-to-day traveling life. Instead of just taking a whirlwind vacation for several weeks, you can settle into the Lifestyle of traveling. I think the person who considers himself or herself a traveler -- at home On the Road -- looks at the world differently than a person who considers himself a businessman on vacation, or an artist on holiday.

If you're on vacation, your Real Life is at home. Home is where your friends and your comfortable daily life are; where your needs are met. Your vacation is an interlude when you give up your daily routines and pleasures to enjoy a special experience or adventure. A traveler's daily life is on the Road, this is where he finds his friends and must have his needs met -- or change his needs.

The extent to which you have an "everyday" life on the Road is evident in that it can sometimes seem mundane, even drudgery. Imagine that one of your friends were able to telephone you on any random evening, no matter where you were on your travels:

"Hey, how are you doing?"
You'd say, "Oh, pretty good."
"Have a good day, today?"
"Oh, well, nothing special, I guess."
They'd say, "Well, tell me what you did."

And on just about any day of your trip, telling them exactly what you did on that day would blow their minds!! "Oh my God! Are you kidding?! That's incredible!!" They'd say. "It is?" You'd ask, incredulously.

Think about all those people back home, getting up each morning to ride to work in the city; where each day is like the last, and each year. You are free of that now -- and for as long as you can stay on the Road. No two days will ever be the same, and each one a postcard from the edges of reality.

Check out Just Another Day in Paradise under Glimpses of the Road, back on Randy's Travel Page.

In retrospect, Time seems to go very slowly on the Road. I will often look back to the distant past and realize that it was only six weeks ago! You experience so much in just six weeks that it seems like last year! Think of all the incredible things you have done in the last six weeks of traveling -- the people you've met, the exotic sights you've seen, the grueling bus trips you've endured.

Learn Something!

Months of travel can sometimes become tedious, no matter how exciting the countries are. Believe it or not, you can really get to the point where visiting one more primitive tribal village, climbing one more volcano, or seeing one more colorful dance festival is like visiting one more museum in Florence, or one more damned cathedral in France. Even before it gets this tedious, you can begin to miss some of the intellectual stimulation you had at home. Talking in broken English and reading lame spy novels is not satisfying all of your inner needs.

It's time to add a new focus or two to your travels. This could be as simple (or as complicated) as moving on to a completely new cultural area of the world, changing your style of travel, or delving more deeply into the local culture. All too often, we find interesting aspects of the local culture, and just make a mental note to read up about them "sometime". As immersed as we get into the local way of life, we can feel that, as travelers, we can only be spectators to a certain level.

One very large change you could make in your travel style is to stop being a traveler, and "settle down" in one place for a month or two to learn something new. You could decide to actually study a local handicraft technique, try to join an archeological dig, or just sit down and study the local language, history, or arts in depth. This would certainly give a new perspective to your travels.

But even if you don't stop moving altogether, you may still find some aspects of the local scene that you can study in depth, to add more spice to your trip. Even in the middle of your trip it's not too late to "adopt a theme" to your travels, especially if it's something that has personally excited you. Adopting a theme like studying archeological ruins, or Buddhism, or weaving, or the history of the Spanish conquest could entirely change your itinerary, and how you spend your time. You could decide to invest in the cost (and weight) of specialized books that you might find, and spend your time seeking out important examples of the subject of your study.

Finally, even the average traveler can adopt a minor theme or two to keep his or her travels unique and more intellectually stimulating. While most of us won't settle down to join a monastery or a pottery commune, we can take the opportunity to study a few specific areas of interest along the way. It can still mean changing your itinerary and buying a couple of extra books, but it makes your trip -- and you! -- more interesting. It adds a new dimension to your life. Who knows, maybe you will decide to stay on somewhere and study for awhile. Once you have rented a house, you can truly say that you are "At home on The Road".

Happy Trails!

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